One thing I can’t stand is meaningless conversation or “small talk.” If I have nothing to say to someone, I usually say nothing. This usually results in a long awkward silence (for them) followed by an uncomfortable “Well…see ya later”. For the ‘Dumb and Dumber’ fans out there I call this, the “big gulp” moment. My wife hates when I do that to people, but I just can’t help it.
Because of this personality flaw I struggle when it comes to prayer because I can recognize that I have nothing to say to God at most times due to the fact that he already knows what’s on my mind. How do I talk to an omniscient God? What do I say to Him that He doesn’t already know? Perhaps I am over analyzing the interaction that takes place? I feel like I should have something to say, but at the same time there are no words that seem right. Should I be talking at all? The silence isn’t near as awkward with Him because He is the strong silent type as well.
I wonder how Jesus, being the Son of God, was able to pray. Not only did He know that God knew the question, but He, Himself also knew the answer. In fact Jesus spent hours just before He was taken away to be crucified praying a prayer that He knew the answer to. He prayed so earnestly that His sweat was like drops of blood. Perhaps I am not idealistic enough to understand this or perhaps I just don’t have a firm grasp on what prayer actually looks like. I know all the church words that you hear in every long-winded prayer, but praying those over-used words seem to burn me out quickly. I want my time talking to God to mean something. I want it to be special. I don’t want it to be a time I set aside to be quiet. I want it to be like a conversation with someone I love being around where I never want to leave. I want it to look like I am with Him all day long, and we are inseparable. I want my prayer life to look like…I am constantly abiding in Him.
There will be more on this to come…